Purgatoriu: Paradise
by The Seelie Court Jester
Summary: "I remembered this one time when Tooru told me about a dream he had. When I asked him what it was about, he simply shook his head, and said that it was a nice dream. He saw me there, in the distance, just watching the grass swaying back and forth, with a tiny smile on my face. He tried inviting me over, but then he woke up, and that was that." A side story to Purgatoriu.


"Speed up."

"Got it."

"You're going a little slow. Are you scared?"

Tooru smirked playfully, as he eyed the roads evenly, his blond bangs easily brushed aside from his brown eyes. Tiny rays of sunlight peeked through the heavy clouds rolling through the mountains, with the rundown buildings contrasting greatly to the puffy shapes lingering low to the ground. From the corner of his eyes, he could make out the plants nestled near the dirt roads, the reflection from the side mirrors giving way to the intricate details surrounding the car. The cool breeze from the air conditioner swept across his face as he steered the wheel slowly, his nerves gradually ebbing away from his system. His foot eased off the brakes, allowing the car to roll smoothly down the roads with little effort. "I've gotten used to this part by now."

Ritsuko smiled, then stared at the roads. Turquoise hair cascaded down her back, the spirals gracefully flowing down her body as he expected they would. Azure pupils occasionally flickered back at him to make sure he wasn't anxious, before coming back to the roads, and scanning the village. She wore a very attractive white blouse that afternoon, with her usual pink pants that signified her relaxing atmosphere. She nodded approvingly when Tooru gently pressed the gas pedal then. "You're getting good at this."

He fought down a blush, as he continued driving. He could feel his body tense, his senses alert, when he tried accepting the full force of the nurse's compliment. He didn't want to admit it, but he had a really big crush on Ritsuko, ever since he saw her at the clinic. She looked really attractive in her nurse uniform, no doubt, but what got Tooru's attention was how compassionate she was with the other patients. She was smart and professional, but there were times when he got to see her let loose, when he heard her laughed like a regular person did, when he saw her teasing everyone she saw. It was a crush years in the making, and right now, at this moment, Tooru was scared of screwing everything up.

He breathed a visible sigh of relief then, when he saw Natsuno and Megumi up ahead.

His gaze softened, and immediately, he took one hand and started rolling down the window. It's already been a year since Natsuno first came to the village. Although Tooru had some vague idea that Natsuno was popular with the girls at school, he didn't think the guy would actually hang out with one of them, and Megumi, of all people.

But then again, it wasn't all that surprising; they were both really hard to approach, and they both wanted to get out of Sotoba. One difference, however, was that it took Tooru twice as long to get close to Megumi, and even then, he didn't think he was on good terms with her. But it was worth it; it was actually because of Tooru that Natsuno and Megumi were okay with being with each other now. It wasn't an easy task either; even Tooru was surprised when he found out that Megumi was stalking Natsuno. But hey, at least that's settled…

Hopefully.

On occasion, Tooru would relentlessly tease Natsuno about confessing to Megumi. At first, he was just joking; just some harmless plays here and there, some laughs all around. But lately, Natsuno started getting more and more antsy about the topic. Every time Tooru brought Megumi up now, he'd either be flustered, or frustrated, or angry, or embarrassed, or any of the four. It was one of the only times he'd see Natsuno like that, and Tooru savored every moment of it. "Hey!" he called out.

Neither of them answered.

Ritsuko blinked. "They're home from cram school, right?" she asked.

"Yeah, I guess. Hey guys! You need a ride?"

Still, no response.

That's odd; even Megumi wouldn't object, especially in this heat. And Natsuno wouldn't just ignore him like that; they were best friends, after all.

So Tooru settled back in his seat, placed both hands on the wheel, and slowly drove the car forward. He kept careful watch over the curb, making sure he wouldn't hit the sidewalk, and parked next to the them. Ritsuko looked over the two concerningly, a confused frown on her face, as Tooru leaned out again. "Hey guys-!"

"WHAT?!" they both screamed.

Well, this was gonna suck.

* * *

"The hell is her problem anyways?" Natsuno murmured murderously, as he maimed the pages of his textbook. He tapped his pencil ferociously on Tooru's bed, all the while staring frustratedly at an algebra problem he knew how to do. "So what if I messed up some stupid ribbon? It's not like it's the end of the fucking world…"

The blonde stared at him for a few moments, trying to come up with something halfway decent to say. "Hey, Natsuno…"

"And who gives a shit about the _weight_?" he continued on as he lifted his pencil and stabbed over the poor workbook. "And fabric? What the _hell_ does that even _mean_?"

"Natsuno-"

" _Seriously_ -"

Tooru sighed. Every time he'd turn around, he'd always see those two fighting. Most of the times, it was entertaining; it wasn't often he'd get to see them slip up like that.

But other times, like now, it was just sad; he wanted them to get along, since they were both planning on leaving the village anyways. And he wasn't going to let them drag each other to their own graves either; this wasn't some grudge match. Yet what made it even more pathetic was the fact neither of them could spit out their feelings toward each other, so, as usual, they resorted to verbal abuse and, rarely, physical abuse, (it's actually pretty funny, seeing them both with black eyes and bruises for a day or two).

Tooru leaned back against the wall, his pupils straying to his beloved video game controller for a few seconds. But his attention remained fixated on the still grumbling Natsuno. "What's it this time?" he asked.

"I slept on a ribbon."

Tooru blinked. When he started to press for more, he froze. Slowly, the realization came on him, the unpleasant memories surging forth from his brain.

That's right; there was a design competition going on right now. Megumi was supposed to send in a picture of her design, photograph and all, along with a personal statement as to why she wanted to be a designer. Outlines, sketches; she had to send in everything, including the dress. The judges were such fashionistas, and from what he's heard from Ritsuko, people like that wouldn't own allow a single stray wrinkle to fall on their beloved outfits.

The fashion world was so… _intense._

Tooru cocked his head, and gave Natsuno his same, amiable smile. "Dude, you know why she's like this. You're in the same boat she is, right?"

"Doesn't matter," he dismissed coldly. "It's just a stupid ribbon. There's no need to get worked up over something as silly as that."

"She wants to get out of here, just as much as you do." Tooru replied. "I hear the winner gets an internship in Omotesando, right?"

"She's good enough," he scowled. "One mistake isn't going to make a big difference."

"Still, one mistake can make it or break it for her. "

Natsuno's amethyst orbs flickered toward Tooru, before he turned away. A brief flash of guilt came across his expression. At an instant, that same, stoic demeanor masked his face once again. He scoffed, as he picked up his pencil and circled the problem. "It's still stupid." Natsuno grumbled.

"Yeah, I agree with you on that part."

"Really stupid."

Tooru looked up, the confusion, once again, coming across his eyes. "…Yeah, but hey, what're you gonna do, right?"

"Stupid," he muttered to himself, all the while furiously wrecking havoc on the tiny question.

"Natsuno?"

"What is it?"

"…You… realize you're jealous of a ribbon, right?"

Tooru ran out of his room, with a barrage of books and pencils flying toward him.

* * *

The next morning, Tooru spotted Megumi walking around the village. She was wearing that pink dress again, the one with the black ruffles lying beneath the hem. She was carrying that same, pink umbrella, and her pigtails were tied up in her signature ribbons. Tall, white socks came up to her knees, and her pink heels stroke the ground with every step she took. Her long, pearl nails seemed to tie the her entire appearance altogether.

Tooru remembered when he first walked up to Megumi. At first, she wouldn't really talk with him, and she politely brushed him off whenever he tried making any sort of conversation with her. It bothered him, how distant she seemed from the rest of the villagers, how tense she was when she was talking with anyone. What really took him by surprise was how much the villagers gossiped about her, the snide remarks and comments about her clothing easily reaching his ears. He saw her expression whenever they talked about it, so he asked her about the dress. She opened up after that.

He ran up to her, with a cautious smile on his face. He still had bruises from yesterday, and to be perfectly honest, he was afraid to enter his own room again, seeing how Natsuno was still fuming about the whole ribbon incident. But he gathered his courage, and went to talk with Megumi. "Hey, Megumi!"

She turned around briefly, her eyes widening at Tooru's wave. She stared at him for a bit, before turning back, and continuing down her way.

"Hey, don't be like that!" he said, as he grabbed her shoulder.

"Look, I'm kind of in a hurry here-"

"Where?" Tooru asked amusingly. "If it's the convenience store, you're going the wrong way-"

She sighed, and turned around. "Tooru," she said irritably, "I just really want to be alone right now."

"You know, Natsuno's pretty pissed too."

Her shoulders stiffened. Quickly, Tooru's arms fell back to his side. She's really scary when she gets mad. "Yeah, well whatever," she scoffed. "Who cares?"

Her response was so different from a year before. Back then, all she ever thought about was how much she wanted to please Natsuno, make sure he didn't see her ugly side. He was proud she'd grown this much. Tooru folded his arms across his chest. "You do. Megumi, even if it's for an internship, it's still just a ribbon."

"Yeah well…i-it was a _very_ important ribbon!"

That hesitation wasn't at all like the forceful girl he'd come to know. He furrowed his eyes. "Megumi-"

"So Natsuno's complaining now, huh?" she griped. "Doesn't surprise me. I always thought he'd be like that! He's always stressing about all those stupid details! And-!"

"Whoa, slow down. Look, I know Natsuno can be…details?"

Megumi stopped. She turned away, as she pursed her bottom lip. Slowly, Tooru's smile faded into a tiny frown, one devoid of the humor he carried yesterday.

So it's not just about the ribbon.

"Megumi, what'd you do?"

"W-well…"

 _"_ _Megumi."_

"I-I don't need to-"

"I'm listening."

Her lips parted slightly. She was about to say something, when she stopped herself, clutching the umbrella handle tightly. Her bangs came over her eyes. "I…I sort of…borrowed his homework…"

"Did you ask?"

"Well yeah! Of course!" she shouted defensively. She caught herself, and immediately, she lowered her tone. "I was at his house. We were working together. I was…checking my answers, to make sure they were right."

"Then what?"

"I kind of…accidentally…took his work instead of mine. He got called out yesterday…at school." That same guilt flashed her eyes, her weight uncomfortably shifting from side to side. "I gave it back to the teacher…but Natsuno was still… penalized…"

Tooru relaxed. Okay, so this was all just a misunderstanding. He was sure if they'd just talked it out, everything will be fine, and they could put this whole thing behind them.

But still, Tooru couldn't help but feel like he was missing something altogether, something really important.

Natsuno was talking about that assignment last night, wasn't he? Apparently, it was for some advanced business class that opened up at school. He said he figured he'd go into business for college, if it ever interested him. He kept talking about the numbers surrounding those complex charts, with words like "revenue" and "marginal" swirling around Tooru's brain like an unwelcome alarm. Did it involve stocks? Yes, from what Tooru could remember.

Then it dawned on him.

Natsuno was making _money_ off that homework assignment.

"Um…Megumi…?"

She looked up. "What?"

"…How much was um…was Natsuno penalized?"

The guilt dragged her down even further. She mumbled the estimate, which caused Tooru to stare off at the empty sky for the rest of the day.

* * *

That particular fight, however, managed to resolve itself. Neither Natsuno or Megumi showed up at his house that night, which, honestly, Tooru was incredibly grateful for.

Days later, he caught them walking around the village again, with a more relaxed atmosphere between the two of them. Tiny smiles were planted on their faces, as they laughed at some joke Tooru couldn't comprehend. Though he did feel a bit left out, in the end he simply stared off at them, a tiny feel of nostalgia bubbling from inside his stomach. He didn't know why, but of course, he kept on smiling.

Tooru remembered the scenery around them. Light danced around them at just the right angle, and tiny drops of dew fell away from the grass, giving them a graceful elegance the village couldn't possibly have. That old, dirt road he drove on with Ritsuko caressed their footsteps, their fragile rem ants already being blown away by the delicate breeze. Quiet chimes erupted from the summer air, and though the humidity attacked his skin, Tooru never felt it all.

In fact, he felt rather cold.

* * *

He remembered seeing a shadow in front of him, in a supposedly dreamless nightmare. Darkness enveloped around that silhouette, with the thick scent of iron splattered around it. He could hear tiny, familiar sobs coming from below him, all the while, distinct words spilling out from a voice that even Tooru had a hard time making out. Soothing frost latched onto his skin, nothing at all like the heat he was accustomed to. Cracking noises resounded through the nothingness, and all the while, sorrow poured into his thoughts.

Memories upon memories piled inside him, the crimson coating his hands so very easily. Screams relayed throughout the air, with dark eyes widening in shock as loved ones surrounded them, the paranoia overtaking everyone like parasites. Flesh burned away from corpses, and pain held its last breath, as, one by one, unrecognizable shadows came down and slaughtered it. Cruelty, callousness, vanity; all were embodied in feral movements, entwined in bitter melancholy, with a certain solitude Tooru couldn't shake off. Accusations filled the darkness, clawing at Tooru with their pleas and begs, forcing him down into their despair.

 _You're an idiot._

And yet, for some reason, Tooru could only listen to that particular voice.

 _I killed someone. A friend._

Tooru lifted his head, trying to block out the sounds of those noisy creatures. He felt himself shift away from their agony, the self-pity dragging him below the surface, as he turned to that voice.

A friend, huh?

This person killed a friend.

 _I didn't know what else to do._

Steadily, Tooru's eyes opened. That was Natsuno's voice, wasn't it?

 _I killed some of the shiki too; strong ones, weak ones, ones that practically begged, and screamed for mercy._

His lips parted at the vague notion of it.

 _I sold out my best friend, and I killed everyone else. Tell me, am I disgusting yet?_

Tooru looked back down. Slowly, the darkness cleared from his vision, and from there, the nothingness came away from his eyes.

 _Do I really seem that innocent to you?_

A hazy scene came across Tooru's eyes then. There was a boy, sitting in filth, who was covered in red and black. His hair clung to his skin, and his clothes were torn asunder, revealing grotesque wounds Tooru couldn't help but flinch from. Pale skin shimmered in the darkness, a lonely light within the sea of corpses surrounding him.

 _Tooru?_

Natsuno.

He remembered the somewhat awkward boy who had just sauntered into the village. He remembered the rude way that boy addressed other people, and the coldness that surrounded him. He remembered inviting that boy over to hang out, the comfortable silence that persisted in that tiny room whenever he was over. He remembered asking that boy for a favor, for the sake of a special someone Tooru was too scared to go up to alone. He remembered how much that boy meant to him, the friendship that had grown based on their tiny, insignificant encounters.

And Tooru smiled.

"You're the idiot." he said confidently.

* * *

Light flickered across his eyelids. A soft, gentle touch shook his shoulder shyly, with a timid, yet confident voice lulling Tooru awake. The harsh heat was nowhere to be seen, and the darkness that surrounded Tooru had all but vanished the moment his eyes blinked open. Slowly, he rubbed away his fatigue, as he sat up.

The grass was soft underneath his palm.

There was Ritsuko, who was just a few inches away from him, with a small blush on her face. There was Aoi, who was badgering him again, trying to get him to help her with her homework. There was Tamatsu, with those same scary movies in his hands, his furrowed eyebrows drawn in concentrated fixation. There was Masao, who was stomping around in the meadow, trying to come up with yet another immature way to deal with his life, all the while calling out for Tooru, endeavoring to get him to listen. His mother and father were there, and all his other friends at school, and a few of the neighbors too.

Off in the distance, Tooru could make out Natsuno's hazy figure. He was staring off somewhere, with that same, concentrated expression Tooru kept seeing every so often. He was wearing his school uniform for some reason, even though today was supposed to be a Sunday. A tiny, relaxed smile tugged at his lips, something the blonde hadn't seen in a while. When he turned around, he relayed that same smile back at Tooru.

Just behind him was Megumi. She was wearing that pink, summer dress she often did. A shy, forceful expression adorned her face, and though she didn't have her umbrella with her today, she was doing everything she could to block out her face, or at least, will herself away. She had her usual ponytails up today, giving Tooru a clear sight of her rosette pupils, something that matched well with the meadows.

He stared after them for a while. He remembered trying to wave them over, but for some reason, his arms wouldn't move. His voice was stuck in his throat, and though he tried calling out Natsuno's name, the word wouldn't leave his lips.

They returned his gaze for a bit. Before long, they both turned away, and in that one moment, he watched as the two disappear, with specks of golden light scattering across the atmosphere.

"Tooru?" was the first thing he heard.

He felt Ritsuko's nail brush beneath his eyes. Carefully, she drew away from him, as she placed her hands neatly on her lap, that same, gentle face directed toward him. "Tooru?" she asked again. "Are you alright?"

"I…I…"

"Why're you crying?"

Slowly, Tooru felt around his eyes. He paused for a brief moment, before wiping the tears away on his sleeve. When he was done, he looked at the people around him, and stared down sheepishly. "Sorry," he said. "I…I was dreaming."

Aoi bent down. "Was it that bad?"

"No," Tooru stated quietly. "It… was a very happy dream."

* * *

Author's Note:

Hello, I am The Seelie Court Jester.

-I do not own shiki, in any way.


End file.
